stop scrolling and just look at this picture of a baby giraffe
okay that’s all carry on
my wayward son
there’ll be peace when you are done
lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more
Do you know how big giraffes are at birth? That’s not a baby giraffe.
That’s a baby giraffe.
I found another baby giraffe
wtf is going on in this post?
If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
- Hufflepuff. HUFF le PUFF.
- They’re mostly considered nice and peaceful.
- They live right by the kitchen.
- Their head of house teaches herbology.
- “Badger” is exactly the kind of animal a stoner would come up with.
- Slytherins obviously do cocaine.
THIS TAG OMG.
what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed
and all this time i thought it was the baby ripping through your vagina
tip of the day don’t vacuum with ear phones in because i just finished vacuuming the whole house only to realise it wasn’t even on
the worst part about periods is like
i wash you, vagina
i buy you nice toys
i even give you a hair cut sometimes
and you gon do me like this, vagina?
you gon do me like this BITCH PANTIES DON’T GROW ON TREES
I’m beautiful and anyone who says other wise doesn’t matter
Did your mother tell you that
No my mom calls me egotistical
i think we found the opposite of nash greir
I love mazzi maz
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
why am i reblogging this
As a writer, I genuinely thank you. Thank God for tumblr. Where the hell else am I going to learn this sort of stuff? Not school or my parents, that’s for damn sure. *sighs*
hermetically sealed shame basket
this post is gold